During my minutes of research writing this, I have unearthed two fundamental truths: 1. "Books are dangerous and inadvisable and should not be kept in private homes." [1] and 2. "Librarians are hideous creatures of unimaginable power." [2] If elected, I shall do my best to emulate the second in order to protect us all from the dangers of the first. [1] Welcome to Night Vale, Station Manageme ...