Christopher Gebka
Dear all those reading this message... In the adjacent photo you shall witness a monstrous crime being committed: there is a sign which clearly states that copper (Cu) has an atomic number of 27 despite copper clearly having an atomic number of 29! I strongly believe that you, as a member of Teas Soc, have a duty to aid in rectifying this grave issue. As a society we must clearly establish that copper has a right to its own atomic number! Therefore, we shall fundraise enough money (via a newly designed Tea Tax) to buy 29 Baker Street and renovate it into a shop that sells only copper goods such as copper cups (which shall become the only permitted beverage holder in Tea Soc), copper pipes (to construct a network of Tea dispensors across campus) and copper plates (because they are shiny and look pretty). Every 29th of the month shall be International Cu day, where we shall venture to 29 Baker Street and brew red coloured tea with water boiled in a copper kettle.
I hope that this message reaches you all and remember that your vote has the power to remedy this tragic event.