As social secretarty I promise to launch the " kook to cracked" programme for all members of our beloved society. This will be a programme fuelled by rigirous training ,such as reps of lifting pints to mouth (good for paddle endurance), sets of chopping pints (good breathold training), and a strict surfers diet, primarily consistent of samboes, bananas and ,of course, pints.
From this programme and my inspired guidance you are guaranteed to be kelly slater (with hair !!!!) by the end of my term as social secretary. I plan on making frequent training sessions to be held in the proving ground known as the imperial union. So VOTE FOR ME if you want to become kelly slater gone imperial student (again, with hair !!!!) .